Life: Boys and Girls

I have offered innumerable hypotheses on the social relationships between boys and girls, many of which have evolved or in some rare cases, contradicted earlier beliefs. Thus, it is now pertinent, and will ultimately be satisfying, to more carefully solidify a theory.

As many of you avid readers have already assumed, I am not speaking of such lesser questions like, “is there a god?” or, “are we truly free?” or even, “what is the meaning of life?” No, no, no…I speak of a much more grandiose question, “can boys and girls be just friends?”

Note: I’m going to hell.

Coming off the coat tails of a two and a half year relationship, on the surface, I may not seem to be a reliable source to answer (discuss) such an important question. I am. If I were ugly, stupid, or mean (hopefully I am not), then I would recognize any hesitation to read further (due to my hypothetical lack of friends), but with increasing experience and a good dose of logic, I am confident in my upcoming assessment.

The complexity of this discussion will soon become evident. For each relationship is different; different histories, circumstances, and proximities make for a wide range of friendships. But still, I hold true that nearly all boy-girl friendships are superficial in that one of the participants wants more, even if subconsciously.



Now girls, don’t get all excited. I am not saying that because I am friends with you I want you to bear my children. But what I am saying is that you want me.

Kidding

In all seriousness, for me (and all guys, if you don’t agree you are lying) there are two categories for girls, ones that you would date, and ones that you wouldn’t. At the most basic level, I look for two things in a girl: emotional and physical attractiveness (as do most unless you are some fetish weirdo).

Note: Emotional attractiveness is different for each person. For example, I would look for intelligence, sincerity, ambition, and spontaneity. Whereas most girls look for ass-hole-ishness.

Kidding

The not-so-amazing thing is, all of my friends share one or more of these characteristics (physical or emotional attractiveness), and I to them. Therefore, what I am looking for in a future mate, my friends at least partially have. This would place them in the would date category.

Now this is where it gets tricky. I would date them, but only in a hypothetical world where history and circumstance does not exist. So, this is what I meant when saying that “one participant wants more.” This “wanting more” could be, “he/she is so nice, I just wish he/she was more attractive (you think I’m a jerk but be honest, you’ve thought it),” or oppositely, “he/she is so hot and funny, I just wish he/she didn’t consistently cheat on his/her significant other,” or, “if only we met this year and didn’t have all this history.”

I would argue that every participant in an opposite sex friendship yearns to be with or more often would yearn to be with their friend more intimately except for a few missing pieces or even one piece (be it history, physical attractiveness, personality, circumstance, or sadly, often ambition and confidence).

Thus, we want more, not more from our friendships, but more of our friendships. Gosh darn you friends, why aren’t you perfect and why didn’t we meet in the perfect circumstance!

That’s life.

Note: I use parentheses entirely too often