Life: On Friendship

The appropriateness of this writing will inevitably vary between each of my relationships, and thus, the simplicity of my first post may seem overly impersonal and therefore frustrating. Bear with me.

I’ve come to many glaring conclusions that, whether because of fear or forced disbelief, have only recently come into view. In the past year, I have lost more friends than I have gained and ultimately, guarding some unexpected digression to the days of irresponsibility, this trend will continue. And even worse, I don’t mind.

Last night I received a drunken message from one of my best childhood friends. He repeatedly declared, “Michigan sucks, Michigan sucks, yea you heard me, Michigan sucks!” Although I must heartedly disagree, what struck me more fervently was that he concluded with, “and you can call me back at 330-…,” as if to somehow offer a spark for an eventually rekindled friendship. Now I’m sure the call was less a profound attempt to de-evolve to childhood and more a simple drunken prank call to the first person seen on his contacts list, but regardless, it made me think.

Idealistically, genuine friendships, just like true love, should stand the tests of time and proximity but of course they do not, or more bluntly, have not. Now that in college, I have seen communication between my friends and I become more and more infrequent and at the same rate have seen my care dissipate. At first I made every effort to keep in touch, and if faltering in doing so, I would naturally become discouraged over the thought of any loss. But through some, what was initially seen to be, unnatural transition, I now take less and less time to ponder over my lost friendships. And maybe lost is not appropriate but in any consequence, something has drastically changed.

And as is with most of life, the most plausible explanation is the most simple. After much thought I’ve concluded that I have lost the determination to keep friendships alive due to the ultimate filter.

Time

Not to sound cynical because many of my lost friendships acquired me great joy, but time has not destroyed any of my true friendships, only filtered my watery definition of friendship to a stricter one. Genuine friendships, like love, do in fact stand the tests of time and proximity.

It seems as though I do lose more friends than I gain but that does not detract from the validity of my friendships of the past and it certainly does not solidify any friendships of the present. Rather, it simply reasserts the truth that as I mature my definition of friendship tightens.