Life: Dinner and a Movie

For all my faults, I am a gentleman: opening doors, paying for ladies, please and thank you, the whole bit. Any girl whom I’ve dated would attest to this. But my upbringing goes far beyond the manors of a simple date. My mom was insistent about a plethora of details.

Grandma and Grandpa are nearly iconic and as such, you shut up and listen when they speak. You can tell a man’s character by his hand shake. Eye contact is unquestionable. Never ask for more than you are given because it shows a lack of appreciation. Always call an elder Mr. or Mrs. The list goes on of course. I expect most people to do the same, but one that consistently baffles me is dinner etiquette.

I give you a typical dinner at my house (when guests are over). There is a spread with a variety of complimentary dishes. Guests fill their plate first, starting with the oldest (if my grandparents are there they are always first), then slowly the hierarchy unfolds itself usually ending with me eating last. I’ve always been taught to take a small amount at first, a few tortillas, maybe a tamale and a spoon full of beans. This makes sense considering everyone else still has to go up for seconds. It is rude to finish off the entire dish. Before going up for seconds, make sure everyone has had plenty of time to get their second round, then again, never leave the bowl empty.

This process repeats itself until, if you wish to have the last piece/scoop, you politely ask everyone at the table, “Would anyone mind if I take the last piece/scoop? I can easily split it.” If given the OK (which you will always be given the OK), eat away.

A few days ago I was at a dinner with friends and a few of them had little respect for these rules. One person in particular put half of the appetizer on their plate before passing (there were 12 people). Then the same person took the unspecific “last piece” for three of the four dishes. This was without asking. I was appalled.

I’m always frustrated when people carry on conversations without eye contact, or blow smoke in my face, or don’t open doors for people behind them. But for some reason, dinner etiquette disturbs me the most. I blame my mother.

Sorry for venting.

Life: Gifted

I used to help a friend with her Algebra II homework. She was definitely above average intellectually, and yet, she was often pummeled by the material. To me it was inconceivable that someone could not understand logarithms, radians, or basic statistics. But it isn’t inconceivable, in fact, it is normal.

So in many ways, I am gifted. The State even told me so.

I go to a pretty decent school and get more than decent grades. Any math class is an easy A. I would like to think I am a fairly good writer. And I can orate with the best of them. By most standards, I have been blessed. But recently, I’ve been humbled.

I saw Rent this past weekend and was awestruck at the vocal talent people can possess. The way actors can captivate an audience with a single glance or make a heart skip at the sound of one note. I wonder how a songwriter can be entirely poetic and interesting at the same time. I cannot understand how marks on a page can turn into intangible feelings. I have no talent for music. No matter how hard I try, I cannot sing a note on key, play an instrument to match, or imagine writing a song. I am below average.

A friend of mine let me into his website before Thanksgiving break. He writes poetry well, carves out emotions from digital images, offers thoughtful incites into politics in well articulated posts, and overall enthralls anyone who visits his site. His talents are, in a word, amazing. See for yourself. Again, any time my computer even sneezes incorrectly my roommate has to fix it because I am computer illiterate. I have no artistic talent to conceive of or to create fictitious characters and bring them to life. I am below average.

Society attributes giftedness to math scores and vocabulary. Society says I am gifted. But I will never create a picture worth looking at or sing a song worth listening to. Maybe there is something to be said for talent outside of Algebra II?