Life: I hate Sports

I’d like to give everyone a lesson in college wrestling.

This is a pin. . .

This is NOT a takedown. . .

This is a University of Michigan wrestler getting completely hosed out of a NCAA championship.

Wrestling is supposed to be a sport that isn’t judged like ice skating or dance routines, but still, the referees get it wrong and people get screwed. It happens in tennis, football, basketball, and now wrestling. It makes me sick.

I think all sporting events with the capability of implementing instant replay should do so, and do so immediately.

Life: Define Me.

I write when I’m angry. And as you did(n’t) notice, I took last month off. But now I’m writing again- so you know what that means?

...uh-oh spaghettio!

I was content for quite a while; I was...rolling with the homies, or “chilling” if you will. Anyway, the point is that I’ve recently contemplated the idea of a person-dictionary. Or more specifically, relevantly, and get-to-the-point-edly, the question is...

How do we define ourselves?


Jonathon (noun)

Jonathon [ jah nah then] or [ se xy ]

1. Human and Male

Likes to grunt, grow hair, watch football, and lie about how much beer he can hold down

2. Student

Paying for a slip of paper that earns him the right to be worth more. And get tanked!

3. Mexican

Able to eat grandma-style burritos on visits and has sun-tan lotion in his blood. Both help with picking up chicas
- “Oh look at him, he’s tall, dark, and handsome. He must be Mexican.”

4. Gentlemen

Is nice to girls because he thinks his mom will somehow find out if he’s not

5. Democrat

The government is watching us! Even now! Oh how I love George W. Bush, he is the bestest president ever in the whole wide world
- “Democrats make better lovers.”

6. Sarcastic

Thinks smokers are really smart

7. Funny

Masks his problems

8. Happy

Feels guilty when he’s not

9. Vulnerable

Right now